Sunday, December 30, 2007

This is going to be one super duper long entry. *warning* you may be bored to death!! haaa.. but i dun think so. coz my life is soooooooo happening that you cant wait to read more about it!

Basically, I just wanna reflect and think through the stuff that happened in 2007. So many things happened, and I know, that this wasnt really the best year for me. Before I typed this, I was still thinking if i wanna blog about it as it will make me think more. harhar. but i guess i have learnt and moved on in my life. to a whole new level.

This year has been a year of highs and low. so i shall talk about it in separate parts... haha..

first of all, it's my studies. at the start of the year, which was my 2nd semester of my SMU life. i got my first ever A+ and i had quite a good overall GPA. then, in my 3 semester, i failed to get any A's... haha. simply bcoz im too slack, not disciplined at all. super duper sianz. coz it pulled down my GPA.. but im sure that in 2008, im going to get really good results. coz i have made the decision not to slack. at least for next sem... harhar.. im going to be a chiongster next sem.

next up, for my ministry. so many things happened. that makes me feel sad when i think about it. those who knows me well enough should know what happened so i shall not elaborate more. but what i can say is that this incident has indeed made me much stronger. i have learnt and moved on. i have learnt to depend more on God. I have grown closer to Pst and the other leaders around me. maybe you do not know it, but your friendship and concern did make a difference in helping me to be strong so tat i can stand in the gap to help e younger leaders and helpers.

despite the unhappy things, there's still so many things to rejoice! harhar. this time round, for Christmas big day, my zone hit our target, above and beyond. this seems to be the 1st time that we made it. N moreover, the new kid on the block - Patuma, won e best growth award! harhar.. so proud of her! from the very 1st day she started out with me, through all the trainings, scoldings and now finally, she has emerged! i still rmbr the time when she didnt even wanna go for SWAT class. but now, she's an awesome leader, holding 2 groups! n doing very well!! Praise God!

For my group, i also experienced change. I took over the Bedok group. super duper big group. not just in number of kids, but in the land area. But im glad that for big day, i broke through with 64 kids. all along, it always had only 40plus 50 kids for big days. but now, it happened. n there was this period of time, i had 2-3 newcomers every single week for about 2 months and some of them are retained! Praise God. This group is growing well and im sure that in 2008, it shall grow even more! harhar. its time to raise up the next best growth leader from my zone - CALISTA SOH!!!! YOU ARE ON COURSE FOR THE NEXT SWAT class. harhar..

and friends. this year has been a year where some friendships blossomed while some withered. i always wished that the phrase 'friends forever' is true. to a certain extent, i realised that friends are in our life at different times, different crossroads. and once it's past, it's past. yes, u may still be friends, but somehow, its just simply different. Was chatting to my fren from my sec school. we would chill out together, play soccer together and a lot of crazy stuff. but now, we seldom chat much, not even on msn. he was the one who brought me to church, but now, only im left. now, we meet up once a year, with the rest of the sec school frens. still quite fun to hang out with, but its just diff.

had many new friendships this year too!! the famous F4 from CCH.. harhar.. i think the only thing common between me and them is that im just as crappy as them. especially EUGENE(who reads my blog but doesnt tag!!!). but im glad to know them. at least im fellowshipping with ppl ard my age. harhar. makes me feel a tiny winy bit younger. n oh yes, another new found fren this year, tim. haha. an unlikely candidate, but somehow, got to know him through angel clay. coz he always come to the shop.. hahaaa.. nice n faithful fren! appreciated your gestures and small acts!

even in school, i have made some really cool frens! haha. most of them are actually Christians and though some are not, they are really some of the really nice ppl ard in school, my study kakis, long-suffering frens, like berber, yuki, MK, brynner, chris, bernice, george etc.

even for my personal life, i went through a roller coaster. harhar. some stuff happened along e way. thot something might happen. but in the end, it wasnt meant to be. i think it has gotta do with me. my fault i suppose. i dun know. but yea, some stuff happens in the right season. there's no need to rush. i guess these things always happens when i needed someone to talk to the most. harhar. but i have learnt. really. so right now, all im focusing on is Him. yea, i have thot abt it. moved on and focus on the things at hand. there's so many things that requires my attention. harhar.

and yea, i got baptised this year too! with the name Azrael! which means God's helper! n indeed i have been God's helper, sent everywhere to do everything! harhar..

Even in my family, it wasnt really smooth. My dad went to e hospital earlier in the year, but thank God everything's alright. Through that incident, i realised the importance of appreciating and treasuring my family members even more. Maybe my love language is diff and i do not how to express myself tat well, but i really do care. quarrels still happens, n it's always bcoz of the same issue. with me going to church so much. harhar. but i know that when i give God my time n all, He indeed takes care of the rest for me! n i believe, that this is indeed the time and season for me to give my all. Im not really sure about how things will be next time, if i will serve that much, but at the very least. now is my time. it is His time for me!

2007 wasnt really the best year for me, but it was a year of growth, learning n understanding n knowing more things. it has certainly made me stronger and better equiped to handle the challenges ahead. i know, 2008 will not be the same as this year.

my new motto for the year 2008 - making an IMPACT. the rippling effect. an impact, a force, a presence, creating a dent, ripples, influence. will update more about this again.
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Sunday, December 30, 2007

Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas came and went pass so fast. time spent to retain the kids. doing visitation n covering visitation for my leader. i need more time, strength to hold on. to do all that's expected of me. i need a bigger capacity. to achieve the greater things that is ahead of me.

so many last min things happened today. n if u know me well, im not a fan of last min stuff. but i guess i just gotta learn to handle it. sianz max again. haiz. plenty of emotions experienced in a short moment - was worried at 1st, then anxious to know what really happened. then angry coz of something, finally amused coz its a so called prank. somehow, i dun find it funny. but i gave up being angry. i so nearly scolded the person!! harhar..

but i think i learnt something. to stop and think more before i do anything. seeing the things that happen around me, i realise that at times, i need to be more appreciative of things around me. sometimes, i tend to take things for granted.

i need to manage more. think more. do more. be even more prepared. help me God, to be all that i can be. to be used as your tool, your labourer.

2008 is coming, i need to start planning for it. i will arise in 2008. i will achieve even more things. will update soon. maybe on sunday. till then..........................................................................
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Friday, December 28, 2007

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

It's an eventful Christmas for me! So many things happened! But 1st and foremost, i just wanna give thanks to God!! My zone target was 198, but we hit 216!! haha. above and beyond. This is the 1st time since im in VL zone that i hit the target! so super duper cool la! im happy! what's makes me more happy is that i have seen the helpers and leaders arising and growing closer together. from the start, we had our goal and vision, and im glad we met it! Thanks everyone! You're the best i could ever have asked for! Faithfully doing saturation almost everyday for 2 weeks plus! Going to one another's area, covering each other! so happy!!!

but like what i said, it's been an eventful day. was tired by the time i started serving the 2nd svc. then something had to happen! spoils the mood. haiz. saded. felt bad also coz i saw it outside. should have brought it in for you when i came into the room! sorry!!! arrggghhhh!!! then after tat, talked to one of my fren n realised tat he just broke up with his gf. hmmm. but at least he's coping well i think. sets me thinking more about relationships again!! haha..

met my jc frens for dinner, which was good. realised tat one of the guy just got attached like 2 days ago. happpy for him!! haaa. i dun know why, but when i hear abt ppl talk abt relationship, i start to think.. haaaa.. thinking abt the past, about the present and about the future.

im not really in any mood to talk about relationships now, so please stop matchmaking me!! arrrggghhh.. sianz max! haaahaaa. all i want now is a close relationship with Him!

learning to lean more on Him. i feel His peace more nowadays. Just so simple. that makes me wonder. that makes me wanna sing.

i need sleep. so much admin work awaits me. but nothing really bothers me. i just want my sleep. hui bought me face mask!! haaa.. i guess i will use it soon. this few days!! yea.. maybe i will get addicted to it. and go up another level of vainity! haaa. this is so cool la!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

It's Christmas! A wonderful time!! i love Christmas! but for the past few years, i have been super busy that i simply cant be bothered to celebrate Christmas! Harhar. but i made a resolution this year! I wanna enjoy my Christmas!

That's why im going for a nice dinner at Giraffe later tonite!! N i really enjoyed svc this time round!! Coz im sitting right in front at the 3rd row!! so cool la. drama is super cool, super funny!!

so many things to blog about. super busy Christmas season! but im super happy. this time round, PET zone is on its way to hit its target!!! so ironic. that we belong to Pst's zone, but we always nv hit our target. This time round is going to be so different!! wo men yao yang mei tu qi le!!!

this yr has been a good n bad year for me. so many things has happened. but still, i wanna thank God for everything as it certainly has made me so much stronger. it wasnt easy, but i've learnt. will blog more about it next time round.

im feeling this unspeakable peace in me even as i blog. haaa. i love this christmas! so cool. blessed, touched. thanks!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Monday, December 24, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

haaahaa. im emo-ing. i dun know why. all of a sudden, feel so overwhelmed. need to pray man! arrggghhh...

God, please help me! so many things to do that i do not know how to start. i need time to myself.

i think its not good to compare, just asked my frens abt her grades. suddenly, i realised tat all my frens ard me got A's while i got B's. makes me feel so sianz about my grades man!

i need to work so much harder this coming sem. n im more sianz. one of my prof just had an operation, so her class will start on the 12th Feb instead. that means got 5 make-up classes to attend, and it's from Sat 9-12pm. My 1st concern is - HOW TO DO BUSING!!!

i really dun know man. maybe i just gotta leave class early or what. haiz. not thinking of it now. makes me emo more, going class on a SAT!! i want my 4 day week!! haiz..

im feeling so broke this christmas! no money to buy presents for all my frens! haiz. dun even have time to go buy the presents lor! so sadded. i feel so bad! arrgghh. only managed to get presents for a few ppl. must feel privileged ar if u receive a present from me! haaaa..

i need Your strength! looking forward! i need to manage my time better.
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007

i need more kids to come! haahaa!! i need about 70-80 more kids!! God, please help me! 3 major outreaches coming up over the next 3 days. in need of good weather and in need of more new kids! bring in the harvest!!! having 2 parties, one at Toh Yi drive on Tues and another at Bedok on Thurs! One more Scavenger Hunt at ECP!

I need leaders to rise up to the occasion! I know they can do it, just need a bit more self belief! How do you impart self belief? hmmm..

I need helpers to press into our lives! People who are so willing to be trained. To go the extra mile. To have the right priorities at the right time! I have one now, but i need more! God, raise up a new generation of people!!!!

I need kids, to flood my zone! to pack the buses!! God, we can plant and watered all the seeds that we have sowed! but it's YOU who will give the increase! Believing in IT! Give me faith to see and to believe!

Im learning, slowly adding a new dimension to my ministry! haahaa. Visitation no longer is the same as the past. I need to work on the parents too now. I need to be more knowledgable than them! haa. To be able to connect and talk to them. Not just having the kids who likes me, but parents too! Then they will trust in me, n our programs and bring their kids!! I have super alot of absentees bcoz parents dun bring their kids!! faint.. haahaa.. going for breakthrough in VL208!!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Sunday, December 16, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007

im running out of ideas to put for the titles of my entries. especially when the things i blogged about are so random.

today's weather is superb! super hot, n i really enjoyed it so much! actually, it was supposed to be a rest day for me, but seeing the weather so nice, i cant help it but go out and do saturation!! harhar.. i pray that every single day from now till Christmas, it will be so bright and sunny!! then it can rain for all i care and i will be sleeping at home!!! heee...

anyway, i went to minds cafe with my fellow members to celebrate Caleb's bdae!! harhar.. it was super duper fun. we helped him with a make-over! harhar. n he looked so much fresher and younger! cool! it was really nice fellowshipping with the people. knowing more about them. yup.

then when i reached home, decided to check my grades which should have been out super long ago. so sianz. harhar. final results - 1 B+ and 3 B's. a bit upset over it. coz it's not my best. i know i could have did better. but then again, i guess its a price i paid for slacking too much. felt even more sianz when i compared with my other frens. who got A's..... harhar. smarty people all around me! haiz... it's my 1st semester without any A's.....

but its ok la, wouldnt be sianz too long. by tmr morning, i will be fine.. harhar.. GPA doesnt determine who I am in Christ! harhar. N i have somewhat done better than my expectations of 4B's... so its ok la. i need to work so much harder next sem lo! harhar..

till then, let me enjoy my Christmas and have a great and awesome break! hee. Made reservations for dinner at Giraffe (opp istana) on the 25th! Cool! always wanted to go there. nice ambience i think. shall check it out and if it's nice... i love places with nice food and nice ambience! n most importantly, i can afford it! harhar..

n yes! im going to have my sushi buffet soon too!! harhar.. courtesy of my student!!! hee.. on the 28th. think i really need to start exercising and burning some calories! heee... yummmy!!! *drools*
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

im really feeling tired. i think im really getting old le! harhar. super whiny for the past 2 days. super sianz. its really not easy to cover for the zone. though its just 5 groups, but it's taking its toll on me. my whole body is aching man! n with the consistent drizzle going on while im doing saturation, it simply makes me even more moody!

I know its not easy but im going to press on! I need Your strength. Willingness. Saying YES and AMEN! God, please bring me through this time! Learning to lean even more on you!

I really wish that I can cut myself into 2, then i can cover more ground. it's just 8 days left. haven done much saturation for my area yet! Going to the other areas. God, as i sow into other grounds, please grow my group for me!

I really need good weather! From the 17th-20th. It's really make or break. Believing for at least 100 kids over the 3 outreaches man! Can it really be done? God, make it happen! Please pray for me!

N i wanna apologize to all my frens whom im unable to buy Christmas presents for!!! really hard to squeeze time out to do it man! so far, the presents i bought are bcoz i happen to pass by the place, saw it, then buy and go! arrgggh.. i feel so bad la!!!

Really looking forward to the 24th Dec, where i can finally rest. It's a day of recuperation for me! N yes God, please really provide for me! im gonna be soooooo broke after christmas after buying all the presents and stuff for the outreaches and for friends! Eating grass... haha.. trying all the different flavors..

im getting whiny. ok, getting out of here le. maybe i will blog more often, to whine. but then again. maybe not. coz i simply cant find time!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sunday, December 09, 2007

This is one of the few times that i feel that there's so little time to do saturation for big day! I'm in the mood already! To chiong arrrrrr!!! This time round, we really gotta count alot on God to come true for us. We can do and plan but at the end of the day, it's God who gives the increase!

So frustrating to plan!! Arrgggh. Without vision, men perish. How true is that? I'm saddened, by people who doesn't carry the vision. It's the crucial time, but yet, there are people who doesnt see the urgency. Or rather, they do not believe that they can be making a difference. And why is this happening? Bcoz they lack the vision. N why do they not have the vision? Bcoz the leaders do not impart it!!! or rather, it's really the willingness of the individual to want to play a part. I really thank God for ENERGIZER! how i wish that all the helpers are like her!! harhar. ultra willing! but then again, they dun need disciplers if they are all that perfect. There's a time and season for everything! I guess, all this really takes some time ba..

Leaders can make a difference! And making a difference has 2 different meanings. Are you the one making an IMPACT? adding on value to the team. Or are you really the difference(minus)? taking away value from the team. Just read something.

"Great leaders never tell people what to do. They set clear goals and establish the parameters. Lousy leaders think they know it all; and all the while, their organisation sits there, aquiver with potential."
by General Norman Schwarzkopf

i need to learn. not everyone does things the way i do. learning requires a two way traffic. learning from one another. God, please direct every step that i take. Bless every decision that i make, and lead me from glory to glory!

Dear frens, please really pray for good weather on the 18th, 19th and 20th Dec! Having outreaches within my zone and I NEED THE SUN to bring in all the FUN and all the SOULS!!

Believing for 198 for VL zone! It's definitely achievable! Not by our what we can do, but by what God is going to do through us! I PRAY for more willing workers to join our family! I BELIEVE for more than 198 children to come for Christmas Delights for my zone! I ASK for an open heaven over all our lives. I KNOW that all these shall come to pass!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Sunday, December 09, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

thinking thinking thinking. been thinking a bit recently. especially today!! harhar.. was at Taka working. last day there as the 2 weeks promo comes to an end. as i looked ard, some thot just came in and made me feel rather blessed. harhar.

there was this little boy, i think he's ard 1-2 yrs old. he was wailing nonstop, crying super loudly!! only the dad was with him n he couldnt handle him at all. faintz... so all he did, was to put the baby boy into the stroller, and took out a milk bottle and tried to give it to him. of course, its in vain. only then, i realised how blessed i am. harhar. to be trained and given the opportunity to serve in CCH. to be well trained for the future!!! haaaa..

n ya, went shopping yesterday with Patuma n Calista. haha. it was quite fruitful! bought a few presents for the people ard me! happy!! it's been super long since i went shopping n suddenly, i just felt so blessed to be able to bless!! blessed to bless! haaa.. i want to prosper so that i can prosper the people ard me!! yea, working towards my goal! its not going to be an easy road but i will jia you!

hmmm, actually there's more things to blog about. but im super distracted by the tv. harhar. shall blog next time if i can remember! tata.
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Friday, December 07, 2007

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

harhar.. as the title suggested!! im forced to blog!! by my helper somemore.. she pointed a gun at my head! haiz......................

harhar.. just joking... anyway, wanted to blog too, but im simply too lazy.. i blog alot last time, but as time passes, i just got lazy.. harhar.. n sometimes, i do wonder why do i blog? do ppl read? haha. now i know they do!!! hee..

anyway, as requested by Ms yinghui, last Sunday was the 1st time that i went out with gene, bob, joyce, hui, gladys n fen. harhar. increasing my social circle!! anyway, gene is really lame, as usual.. joyce n gladys was cracking their brains out trying to solve the rubric cube(which dissolved into pieces at Joyce's house)!!! harhar.. anyway, it was a nice lunch at Nihon Mura at Tampines Stadium. I always liked there, cheap and the food's not bad. too bad we didnt had the chance to eat desserts!! too full.. yea, must go there again. yea, i really enjoyed the fellowship! as i looked back, it seems like its the 1st time i fellowshipped with CCH leaders ard my age!! harhar..

today's not a really good day! i dun know why, but i just felt super moody. just like the weather, tat rained for the whole day!! N like Murphy's Law, all bad things happens together, one after another. 1st, i had to drag myself out of bed to get to work. then when i reached Taka, i realised that our stool got stolen!! arrrggghhh... tat means i had to stand all the way man.. so sianz la..

but, i choose to look on the bright side! yea! will not let circumstances get me down!! n yea, finally got our target for Christmas big day already!

VL201 - 20
VL204 - 40
VL206 - 38
VL208 - 60
VL211 - 40

That means the total for VL zone would be 198 n for PET zone, its 825 and for CCH, its 5713!!!! yup, we gotta arise and make things happen!! I need to enlarge my capacity! I will take note of my weakest link n not let it hinder my progress! Help me to make a difference! IMPACT!!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Wednesday, December 05, 2007