Sunday, June 24, 2007

haahaa.. only one person will understand the title of this entry.. harhar.. but i dun think it will ever be read..

maybe, it would be good to let the nonsense remain.. only then, no more troubles, no more thinking.. sometimes, nonsense is good.. haha...

im super slack.. gonna take cab again back to camp.. this 2 weeks of training is costing me close to $60 for cab fare.. faint..

anyway, i have decided.. i think.. to let it just remain as nonsense.. harhar.. the next few days will be in the jungle all the way.. will be busy, so hopefully, i dun have time to think.. harhar..
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Sunday, June 24, 2007

so many things going on around rite now.. i need time.. lacking it seriously now.. currently in army for reservist.. tiring but its something new for me to experience, shall blog more about it but am not in the mood rite now.. haiz..

supposed to be leaving house soon, but now not so soon.. haha.. some times, some things are simply too hard to understand.. im close to not bothering about it anymore.. one last chance maybe, n that's it.. it's getting too tiring.. i really hoped that i can help, but somehow, things dun always happen the way you want them to.. haiz..

service was good.. been reading harvest times during the week in camp.. the level that the word impacts you depends on the importance that you placed on it.. everyone may be listening to the same sermon, but some are impacted while some are not.. have you caught something today?

arrggghh.. im feeling soooooo sooooooo sianz.... please help me!!!!! harhar........... i need to get myself occupied with things so that i stop thinking and just work.........................................
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Sunday, June 24, 2007

Saturday, June 16, 2007

a super duper busy day today.. was supposed to wake up at 615am.. but i overslept!! arrgggh.. woke up one hr late n tat means cab.. to jw.. haiz.. moving all the stuff to yishun stadium for our sports day.. rehearsals and preparing of props.. by the end of the day, im flat.. no more strength.. though it was fun, but for the teachers, once is enough.. haha.. must train more before the next sports day!!

didnt attend svc today as i had a family dinner.. it's been super long since i joined them.. always too busy with church to spend time.. but now, balance is the key.. enjoyed the time with my cousin and aunties.. i would say it's quite good, especially since there's such nice food for me after a long long day!! n what's more, i got blessed by my dad today.. hee.. 100 bucks!! it shall be used fully to cover my cab fees.. especially when i book in, taking cab from aljunied to tuas.. wah...

yup, going to be away for two weeks.. to serve the nation.. good n bad.. time to think.. im feeling tired.. do i have a choice in the things that i do? suddenly remember something that was somewaht like my motto when im young..

"Others can, but I can't"
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Saturday, June 16, 2007

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

the flickering light - it seems to be there, and yet not there..

sometimes, when all hope is gone, n u decide to give it all up.. no more hope.. just then, the light flickers.. u see the light, hope raised..

but then, it disappears once again.. you keep on waiting, walking.. hoping that you will see the light once again..

the choice is urs.. willl you close ur eyes and you will not have the chance to see the light even if it flickers..

no longer will u be tired.. just rest.. stuck in pitch darkness..

or will you open ur eyes wide and look? waiting for the that light to come on again.. praying that it will lead u out of the darkness to happiness..

it's emotionally sapping, mentally tiring and physically torturing.. will u endure?

will u ever find the light at the end of the tunnel?
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Monday, June 11, 2007

i need an outlet.. harhar.. if u understand what im saying.. speaking in parables.. so many things.. sports day coming up.. woohoo..

did something really stupid today.. angry with myself!! arrggggh.. ultimate blurness of the year!

haiz.. confused.. focus.. two words closely linked.. without focus, u end up being confused.. but taking away the E-N-D, the confused will have a focus. harhar.. what should the E-N-D be? n whr to put it?

booooooooooooo........
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Monday, June 11, 2007

Monday, June 04, 2007

im in the process of learning. learning to let go and LET GOD! so many things coming up in June. my life is plunged into uncertainities again. n feeling frustrated over it. so many things that are not within my control. really gotta let go this time round. by my own strength, nothing much will be done.

this yr's Emerge was good. but... i still loved the 1st ever Emerge i attended. this yr, i attended only 3 svc, though i was present for all of them. reason being; i had to serve. i really miss the days of just simply being able to attend svc peacefully n quietly, enjoying the presence of God. no need to rush, just simply soaking in His presence. no longer easy when your mind is full of things running through.

but i still caught some stuff which really made a difference to me. LOVE. a word so powerful that it overshadows eveything. out of His love for us, Jesus sacrificed. out of my love, i served. out of love, fear no longer exists. will this love flow out of every area of my life that all will be impacted?

another moment was when Pst Abraham Khoo prayed for the church. 3 things he mentioned. creativity. arrows. the earthquake n tsunami in the spiritual realm. when Pst talked about us being the arrows that will be shot out into the world, i rmbr a chinese proverb that i learnt - jian zai xuan shang, bu de bu fa. it means that once the arrow is fixed onto the bow and pulled into position, you would not have a choice but to fire it out. its the same with our church rite now, we are being prepared for something bigger, something greater. like arrows that are going to be loaded unto the bow. n once that is done, we will be fired all out to be an impact in the world!

finally, the last thing that i really learned was brokeness. only when the pitcher broke did the light shine forth. only when the alabaster flask broke did the anointing flow. only through broked vessels, God will use. not partially broken, but fully broken before God! this message has been going on for quite a while, brokeness. are we really broken within our hearts? is there pride within? i loved the song - one word and I will follow. are you able to do that?

God makes all things possible! time will pass and all these things will pass. till then, i need to learn. learn to let go. learn to trust and obey. learn to let GOD! please help me, God!! in need of you!
L1v1nG 4 JeSuS at Monday, June 04, 2007